The Never-Ending Carousel of Football BS

Another glorious day in the beautiful game, where the only constant is chaos and the only certainty is that someone's getting paid too much.

First up, the transfer merry-go-round just keeps spinning, because apparently, actual football isn't entertaining enough. Rafael Leao is "close to leaving AC Milan." Stop the presses! A star player wants out of Milan? I'm SHOCKED. Truly, who could have seen this coming? Meanwhile, Manchester City, in their never-ending quest to own every promising footballer on the planet, is about to snap up another Brazilian "gem." Are they building a football team or a Pokémon collection at this point? And then there's Marseille, where Kevin Diaz is out here defending Lorenzi, claiming some players are "unsellable" because of their wages. Translation: "WE BOUGHT ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AND NOW NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO PAY THEM." Hard to believe Barcelona "abandoned" the idea of signing a striker who actually scores goals like Serhou Guirassy after just "sonding" Dortmund. TOO SENSIBLE, I guess.

Over in France, the Ligue 1 spectacle continues, and by "spectacle" I mean PSG doing whatever they want. Luis Enrique is officially the new PSG coach. Good luck, pal. Trying to manage that locker room full of egos is like herding cats made of money. Riolo is already "embalmed" by Ferran Torres's debut, declaring it an "event" that will "shake up the hierarchy." Yeah, because PSG's hierarchy has been SO stable and successful, hasn't it? Get ready for another season of breathless hype followed by an inevitable Champions League implosion. Oh, and Nantes found a successor for Der Zakarian. Who cares? They'll probably be fighting relegation by Christmas anyway.

And for the truly absurd, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, bless his heart, has started with two goals in two games for promoted La Corogne. Is he actually good again, or is La Corogne just playing against Sunday League teams? The Maradona trial, still going strong, just dropped a bombshell: a medical provider apparently confused tests between Diego and his DAD. Seriously, you CANNOT make this stuff up. And finally, because the football world loves to eat itself, Samuel Eto'o is out here defending Gianni Infantino's "controversial project to sell the World Cup." Of course, he is. Corrupt officials defending other corrupt officials – it’s just another Tuesday in FIFA land.

So there you have it. More transfers, more drama, more officials doing questionable things. Just another day in the beautiful game, where the only real winner is always the money. DON'T EVER CHANGE, FOOTBALL. Actually, please do.