Chaos at the Portman Circus

The Championship remains the only place on earth where you can watch twenty-two men chase a ball for ninety minutes just to end up exactly where they started, only more exhausted and significantly more stressed. Ipswich Town and Middlesbrough spent Sunday afternoon engaging in a game of "anything you can do, I can do slightly more mediocrely," resulting in a 2-2 draw that served as a perfect metaphor for the automatic promotion race.

Ipswich entered the fray sitting 3rd in the table, looking to leapfrog the pesky Millwall lot, while Middlesbrough occupied 5th, clinging to the faint hope that the top two wasn't a gated community. The first half was a masterclass in defensive generosity. David Strelec opened the scoring for Boro because apparently, the Ipswich backline decided that marking was an optional extra not included in their Sunday package. Kasey McAteer spared their blushes five minutes later with a finish that actually looked like it belonged in a professional league.

The second half was pure DRAMA for the sake of it. Tommy Conway put Boro ahead again after Christian Walton’s save fell into his path with the kind of fortune usually reserved for lottery winners. Portman Road was beginning to smell like heartbreak until the 87th minute, when Jarred Gillett pointed to the spot for a foul on George Hirst that Boro players protested with the intensity of a toddler denied a biscuit. Jack Clarke stepped up, coolly converted, and saved Ipswich from a full-blown existential crisis.

What does this mean for the table? Ipswich technically climb to 2nd on goal difference, but they’ve missed a chance to put clear daylight between themselves and the chasing pack. They have a game in hand, which is essentially the footballing equivalent of a "get out of jail free" card they are currently too terrified to play. For Middlesbrough, this result is a polite way of saying their automatic promotion hopes are now officially COMPOST. They remain 5th, three points off the pace having played a game more. It’s the playoffs for them, or bust.

In the end, it was a spectacular mess. Ipswich are still in the driving seat, but they’re driving a tractor with a flat tire and a very confused GPS. Welcome to the run-in. It’s going to be ABSOLUTELY exhausting.