Dortmund's Pokal Picnic

Well, wasn't that just utterly predictable? Borussia Dortmund, those yellow-and-black titans, made the trip to HEBC Hamburg in the DFB Pokal, and what unfolded was less a football match and more a politely executed demolition. The final score, a resounding 0-5, tells a story as old as time: the big fish eating the smaller, considerably less well-funded, fish.

For a glorious 45 minutes, HEBC Hamburg, a team whose primary concerns probably revolve around securing enough clean kit for the weekend, dared to dream. They held the mighty Dortmund to a respectable, if utterly baffling, None-None at half-time. You could almost hear the collective gasp of disbelief across Germany. Were we about to witness the greatest Pokal upset since... well, ever? Was the universe finally going to give a nod to the plucky underdog?

Absolutely NOT. The second half arrived, and with it, the cold, hard reality of professional football. Dortmund, perhaps having been reminded by their coach that they actually had a game to win, promptly woke up. The floodgates opened, and HEBC’s valiant, if ultimately futile, resistance crumbled faster than a stale biscuit. Five goals flew in, each one a nail in the coffin of Hamburg’s fleeting Pokal fantasy. It was clinical, it was efficient, and it left absolutely NO CHANCE for any romantic notions of giant-killing.

So, what does it all mean? For Borussia Dortmund, it’s BUSINESS AS USUAL. They’ve sauntered into the next round of the DFB Pokal, barely breaking a sweat, confirming their status as a team that, at the very least, knows how to dispatch an amateur side without too much fuss. For HEBC Hamburg, it means a return to their regular league fixtures, probably with a few more sore muscles and a story to tell their grandkids about the time they almost, almost, held a Bundesliga giant for an entire half. The Pokal dream is over, but at least they didn’t get completely embarrassed... for the first 45 minutes, anyway.