Capital punishment in Munich

Normal service has been resumed in Bavaria, and by "normal service," we mean the kind of clinical dismantling that makes you wonder why Union Berlin even bothered checking their GPS for the Allianz Arena. FC Bayern München didn't just win; they essentially conducted a 90-minute training session with an audience, strolling to a 4-0 victory that felt as inevitable as a tax audit.

Before the match, Bayern sat comfortably at the top of the table, while Union Berlin was loitering in 10th, presumably hoping that the "Iron Union" moniker would provide some sort of structural integrity against the Bavarian onslaught. It didn't. By half-time, the score was already 2-0, and the only real suspense was whether the visitors would manage a shot on target or if they were just there for the sightseeing.

Harry Kane, because of course it was Harry Kane, continued his personal crusade against German goalkeepers by notching his 31st goal of the campaign. At this point, the man is scoring goals with the same frequency that most people check their emails, but with significantly more talent. Luis Díaz was equally problematic for a Union defense that looked less like a professional unit and more like a group of tourists lost in a revolving door.

The result leaves Bayern a massive 12 points clear of Borussia Dortmund, though BVB managed a nervy 3-2 win over Hamburg to keep the title race theoretically "alive." In reality, the Bundesliga trophy is already being engraved with its usual address. For Union, this was a REALITY CHECK of the harshest variety. They remain stuck in mid-table, safely away from relegation but equally far from anything resembling European ambition.

Watching Bayern in this mood is like watching a cat play with a particularly slow-witted mouse. It’s impressive, sure, but after the fourth goal, you start feeling a bit sorry for the mouse. UNION WERE CLUELESS from the first whistle to the last, proving once again that in the Bundesliga, there is Bayern, and then there is everyone else trying to remember where they parked the bus.

If you’re looking for a silver lining for Union Berlin, at least the bratwurst in Munich is decent. Because their football certainly wasn't.