Alkmaar’s afternoon of absolute abundance

If Heracles Almelo’s defensive plan for their trip to the AFAS Stadion was to provide AZ with a confidence-boosting training session, then mission accomplished. The visitors arrived in Alkmaar with the structural integrity of a wet stroopwafel and left with a 4-0 drubbing that was as predictable as it was painful. For AZ, it was a routine dismantling of the Eredivisie's basement dwellers, a result that felt more like a public service than a competitive fixture.

The massacre began early, with the home side strolling to a 2-0 lead by the interval. AZ didn't even need to shift out of second gear to expose a Heracles backline that seemed more interested in sightseeing than marking. By the time the fourth goal hit the back of the net, the only thing more NON-EXISTENT than the visitors' offense was their desire to be anywhere near the pitch. It was a spectacular 4-0 victory for those wearing red, and a total humiliation for anyone associated with the Almelo side.

This result does wonders for the table, as AZ capitalizes on Twente’s spectacular implosion against Utrecht to leapfrog them into 5th place. With 45 points, the Cheeseheads are now breathing down the necks of Ajax and NEC in the race for those lucrative European spots. Meanwhile, Heracles remains rooted to the bottom of the standings with a measly 18 points, looking every bit like a team that has already accepted its fate in the Eerste Divisie.

AZ played with an efficiency that was frankly DISRESPECTFUL, moving the ball with a fluidity that made Heracles look like they were playing in clogs. While the top three of PSV, Feyenoord, and NEC might still be a bridge too far, Alkmaar is firmly back in the conversation for the "best of the rest" title. As for Heracles, they might want to start looking at the travel logistics for away days in Helmond and Oss next season, because on this evidence, their top-flight status is effectively DECEASED.