The Villans visit the Great North

Just when you thought it was safe to enjoy a Thursday night without Unai Emery’s tactical obsession, the Europa League delivers a rematch that precisely nobody in Birmingham asked for. Aston Villa travel to the Stade Pierre-Mauroy tonight with the collective confidence of a cat in a bathtub, having spent the last month doing a spectacular impression of a team that has forgotten how to win a football match.

Villa sit 4th in the Premier League, which sounds impressive until you realize they haven’t tasted victory in four games. Losing to Wolves is one thing, but shipping four goals to Chelsea suggests Emery’s defense has the structural integrity of a wet paper towel. They arrive in France looking for "European pedigree" but might just find a cold northern wind and a very grumpy Benjamin André.

Lille, currently 6th in Ligue 1, are the antithesis of fun. They specialize in the kind of defensive solidity that makes a toothache feel like a spa day. With captain André prowling the midfield like a man who hasn’t smiled since 2011, they’ve turned their home ground into a fortress where goals go to die. They even have Olivier Giroud, a man who is apparently legally obligated to play European football until he is 100, providing the kind of "experience" that usually involves leaning on defenders until they give up.

While Villa has Ollie Watkins and the returning John McGinn, their current slump is LEGENDARY. They are level on points with United in the league, but their European form is the only thing keeping the lights on at Villa Park. Meanwhile, Lille’s Hamza Igamane has been clinical, and if Villa’s backline continues to social distance from opposing strikers, it’s going to be a long night for the traveling fans.

Lille will stay compact, André will kick anything that moves, and Villa will dominate possession only to realize that Emery’s "process" doesn’t actually include putting the ball in the net when it matters.

Prediction: Lille 1-0 Aston Villa