The Lake Dwellers Visit the Cathedral

Inter are currently sitting on a mountain of 78 points, looking down at the rest of Italy with the kind of smugness usually reserved for people who buy their wine by the vintage rather than the supermarket aisle. Simone Inzaghi has turned this squad into a relentless points-munching MACHINE that treats every opponent like a minor inconvenience on the way to more silverware.

Then we have Como. The team everyone wants to love because they have a beautiful lake and Cesc Fabregas looks great in a slim-fit suit on the touchline. They are sitting in fifth with 58 points, which is impressive until you realize they are walking into the San Siro. It is essentially like bringing a very expensive, artisanal cheese knife to a nuclear missile silo.

This is the Coppa Italia, a competition where Inter usually treats the early rounds as a chance to let their second-stringers remind everyone why they earn more than most small-market CEOs. Even if Inzaghi decides to REST his heavy hitters, the bench depth at Inter is deep enough to have its own gravity.

Como’s billionaires have spent money, sure. They have brought in names that make nostalgia-hunters weep with joy. But playing at the San Siro is a different beast. Inter does not do "hospitality" for teams from the suburbs. Como will try to play attractive football because that is the Fabregas way, but they might find that Inter’s midfield does not care about "philosophical projects" when they are busy winning every second ball.

Expect Como to have a lovely fifteen minutes of possession before reality, and perhaps a disgruntled Marcus Thuram, hits them in the face. It is a classic David vs. Goliath scenario, except Goliath has a tactical degree and a very angry Lautaro Martinez.

Prediction: Inter 3-0 Como