Bayer's headache meets the London heavy artillery

Welcome to the BayArena, where the local pharmacy is bracing for a massive influx of orders. Xabi Alonso’s Bayer Leverkusen, currently languishing in a modest 6th place in the Bundesliga with 44 points, is about to host the most terrifying guest in European football. We are talking about Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal, a team so dominant right now they make the rest of the Premier League look like a group of confused toddlers.

The Gunners aren't just leading the Premier League with 67 points; they have treated the Champions League league phase like a glorified training session. EIGHT matches, EIGHT wins. They have a perfect record that suggests they might actually be allergic to drawing, let alone losing. With 23 goals scored and only 4 conceded, their defense is tighter than a pair of skinny jeans after a Christmas dinner.

On the other side, the "Neverlusen" magic has clearly hit a pharmacological expiration date. Leverkusen scraped into the Round of 16 in 16th place with a measly 12 points. Their goal difference is negative. NEGATIVE. In a competition where you usually need a pulse to survive, Bayer has been walking around looking like they forgot to take their vitamins. Their defense has leaked 14 goals in 8 games, which is exactly the kind of statistic that makes Bukayo Saka and Martin Odegaard start salivating before they even leave the tunnel.

Expect Kai Havertz to return to his old stomping grounds with the grace of a man visiting his ex just to show off his new, much more expensive car. Arsenal will look to SUFFOCATE the life out of the midfield and leave Xabi Alonso wondering if he should have taken that Liverpool job when he had the chance. It won't be a match; it will be a surgical extraction of German hope.

Prediction: Bayer Leverkusen 0-3 Arsenal