The king of Thursday nights faces his Waterloo
Villa Park under the lights. The smell of overpriced Balti pies and the lingering scent of Unai Emery’s hair gel. It’s the Europa League second leg, and Aston Villa are currently doing their best impression of a giant with a pebble in its shoe.
Villa are comfortably 4th in the Premier League with 51 points, a position that usually warrants respect, but their first-leg performance in France was about as convincing as a politician's promise. Emery, the self-appointed CEO of Thursday Night Football, has spent the week obsessing over video clips until his eyes bled, yet he still hasn't figured out how to break down a French defense that has more layers than an onion.
Lille arrive in Birmingham sitting 5th in Ligue 1 with 44 points and the collective temperament of a hive of angry hornets. They are the ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT team of France, a club that sells its best players every summer and still manages to ruin PSG's weekend on a regular basis. With Benjamin André prowling the midfield like a man who hasn't felt joy since 2011, and the ageless Olivier Giroud providing the kind of "veteran presence" that mostly involves being handsome and winning headers, they are perfectly built to frustrate.
They hold a 1-0 lead from the first leg, and they will guard it with their lives. Expect Lille to stay compact, waste time from the fourth minute, and generally make the game as aesthetically pleasing as a car crash. Villa will have 70% possession, Ollie Watkins will hit the post twice, and Emery will slowly turn the color of a ripe tomato on the touchline as his tactical board is rendered useless by Northern grit.
The "process" is all well and good until you realize that passing the ball sideways 400 times doesn't actually count as a goal. Villa have the talent, but Lille have the discipline and a goalkeeper who is likely to have the game of his life just to spite the English press. It’s going to be long, it’s going to be stressful, and it’s going to be very, very French.
Prediction: Aston Villa 1-1 Lille