An Italian civil war at the Olimpico

Welcome to the Italian job, Europa League edition. Because apparently, the Champions League was too crowded for these two, they’ve decided to settle their domestic disputes in the continental equivalent of the kids' table. AS ROMA hosts Bologna in a second leg that promises all the tactical rigidity of a 1980s Fiat and about as much flair as a rain-soaked Vespa.

The first leg ended in a 1-1 draw, a result so predictable it should have been written in the stars—or at least in a very boring Gazzetta dello Sport editorial. Claudio Ranieri, a man who has "retired" more times than a Rolling Stone, is back in the Roma dugout, presumably because the board realized that hiring anyone under the age of 70 was too progressive for the Giallorossi.

Roma currently sits 6th in Serie A with 42 points, which is essentially the footballing equivalent of a "C+" grade. They have the consistency of a melting gelato, and if it weren't for PAULO DYBALA occasionally remembering he’s actually good at football, they’d probably be fighting for survival in the bottom half. Ranieri’s strategy? Defend like your pension depends on it and hope Dybala does something magical before his hamstrings inevitably ping.

On the other side, we have Bologna, the team that everyone pretended to like last season before realizing that Thiago Motta was the only thing keeping the lights on. Vincenzo Italiano has taken over, and while he’s 9th in the table with 37 points, his "style" is mostly just vibes and high-intensity running that leads to absolutely nothing. Bologna is the team that dominates possession, hits the woodwork three times, and then loses to a 94th-minute header from a center-back who hasn't scored since the Obama administration.

Expect a cagey affair where the ball spends more time in the air than on the grass. The Olimpico will be LOUD, mostly because the fans are screaming at the referee, and the tension will be high enough to power a small village in Tuscany.

Prediction: AS Roma 1-0 Bologna