The Basque chess masters settle the score

Welcome to the Emirates, a place where the grass is perfectly manicured, the tactical diagrams are drawn in three dimensions, and the North London anxiety is tangible enough to bottle and sell in the club shop. After a first leg in Germany that was essentially ninety minutes of two men staring at iPads and nodding sagely, we finally get the decider.

Arsenal arrive as the runaway leaders of the Premier League, sitting comfortably on 70 points and looking like a team that has finally traded its fragile heart for a cold, calculating motherboard. They topped the Champions League league phase with a perfect record, yet they still managed to look strangely mortal in that 1-1 draw at the BayArena. It is the classic Arsenal paradox: looking like world-beaters until someone actually asks them to win a knockout game without a safety net.

On the other side, we have Xabi Alonso’s Bayer Leverkusen. Remember when they were the "Invincibles" and everyone was buying a Leverkusen shirt just to feel something? That feels like a lifetime ago. Currently languishing in 6th in the Bundesliga, the German machine has developed some worrying rattles. They have gone from "Neverkusen" to "Maybe-next-week-kusen," recently shipping three goals to Freiburg like they were giving away free samples at a pharmaceutical convention.

The narrative arc is almost too heavy to carry. Granit Xhaka returns to the library he once called home, likely ready to commit a tactical foul within the first four minutes just for old times' sake. Meanwhile, Kai Havertz will be wandering around upfront, trying to remember which set of fans he is supposed to be annoying this week.

Expect Arteta to demand TOTAL CONTROL while Alonso prays for a moment of Florian Wirtz magic to bail out his leaky defense. Arsenal are the FAVORITES, which is usually exactly when they decide to do something hilarious. But at home, under the lights, even they should be able to navigate this one without a complete mental breakdown.

Arsenal 2-0 Bayer Leverkusen