Red Devils Feast on Kiwi Despair

Belgium, those slick purveyors of beautiful football, finally decided to show up for the second half against New Zealand, turning what was a rather mundane affair into an absolute goalfest. The Red Devils, clearly having enjoyed a tactical pep talk (and perhaps a strong coffee) at the break, emerged from the tunnel with a hunger usually reserved for late-night frites. Five goals later, the Kiwis were left wondering if they'd accidentally wandered onto a training pitch and become unwilling participants in a shooting drill.

Remarkably, the scoreboard read a rather uninspiring 0-0 at half-time. For 45 minutes, New Zealand, bless their cotton socks, had managed to keep Belgium at bay. One might have even dared to dream of an upset, a plucky underdog story. But alas, like a poorly constructed sandcastle against a rising tide, their defenses crumbled with alarming speed once the Belgians decided to hit the accelerator. It was less a tactical shift and more a polite announcement that the main event was about to begin.

The second half was a masterclass in clinical finishing from Belgium. Wave after wave, the goals flowed, each one a dagger to the heart of Kiwi optimism. It was less a football match and more an exhibition of how many times you can hit the back of the net when the opposition decides to take an extended siesta. New Zealand did manage to pull one back, a mere CONSOL